(Before reading this understand something, I am NOT trying to give someone an excuse to back out of their commitments! I don’t want ANYONE saying WELL, MYRANDA SAID..... that isn’t the point of the blog...k?)
Allow me to give you a bit of back ground to where I am going with this. When we first came to Zambia I was put in charge of the Sunday school. It was STRESSFUL to say the least. I would have upwards of 45 kids in a tent ranging in ages 2 - 12. Only my kids and the kids of the other missionary family spoke English. On the other side of the very thin half wall of our tent there were a very rowdy bunch of street kids who kept trying to nick the cookies and juice brought for the Sunday School kids. In the middle of this insanity Luis and I had to be on the constant watch for our kids as the church was surrounded by 3 bars and numerous drunk men. I won’t lie to you when I tell you the entire experience almost drove me to the loony bin.
Now we are at a different church and like a ninny I volunteered to teach once a month. I hadn’t recoupped properly from my previous stint.
So yesterday it was my turn to teach the 5 - 8 year olds. They are a good group of kids and the powers that be in charge of the planning are doing a fabulous job, the problem lies with me! In the middle of the class while trying to keep everyone from climbing on top of the tables and running a muck everywhere I had an epiphany.....I REALLY REALLY DON’T LIKE DOING THIS!!!! Does God want me to be in a ministry because I feel obligated or because I know that I know he has called me to it?
My mom, wise woman that she is, has taught me a simple truth....ministry should NEVER be a burden. Does it come with challenges and difficulties...YES!!!! Do we run away when it become challenging and difficult....NO!!!! Do we WANT to run away when it gets challenging and difficult? Lets be honest here....WHO HASN’T!? That is when remaining faithful and steadfast come into play. BUT when it become burdensome and sucks the life out of you, maybe then it is time to re-think and pray about motives. Get some counsel and take a step back.
Allow me to illustrate. God has called Luis and I to work with street kids in Zambia. Street kid ministry MOST ASSUREDLY has it challenges and difficulties. The devil is after us ALL the time to quit, yet when we are with the kids on wednesday mornings it is the most natural thing in the world we could be doing. Every single time I am out on the streets I have the sense “It all makes sense right now! Every battle, trial and difficulty makes perfect sense to me!”
See where I am going with this?
I was in such a foul mood yesterday, as I usually am on Sunday School day, that I had to spend a great deal of time humbling myself and saying sorry to those I took my crappy attitude out on. THAT ISN’T COOL!
This is what my face looked like most of the day.....