Saturday, June 1, 2013

Bitterness....bleh


Just recently I have received an email from a long lost blast from my past.  I was thrilled to get back in touch, but quickly things went south.  She wanted to make me account for things I don’t remember, things other people did (supposed and real) and to tell me to never get in touch with her again.  

HUH!?  You emailed me!!!

WHY IN TARNATION ARE YOU SHARING THIS MYRANDA!?  It actually was a real God moment for me!  After I got over the initial shock of her anger, it dawned on me that I felt true and real sorrow for my friend.   She has spent many years immersed in what really amounts to a terrible misunderstanding.  Initially I was angry, anyone would have been reading that tirade.  The Myranda of 2 years ago would have wanted to nail her to the wall!  But after it rolled over my soul and I digested it I realized that I honestly feel sorry for her!  Then I was happy because I recognized something beautiful God has done in my own heart!  

The other thing that was awesome about it was this......I have been praying for a while that God would keep me from the sin of bitterness and resentment.   The past couple of months have been a real emotional roller coaster for me and I saw some bitterness cropping up in my soul that scared me.  This is a generational thing that has gone on for WAY to long.  Some perceived hurtful things happened and I was angry about them, but didn’t know how to process it but be frustrated.  (I say perceived, because what happened wasn’t meant to be hurtful, just good intentions that were misunderstood)  But this is the look that I think I have had on my face. 




Through this email I realized that I have been holding people over the fire of my own judgement.  I have been found guilty of not giving them the benefit of the doubt and allowing myself to see things from their points of view before reigning down “righteous” indignation upon their heads.  My thoughts were beginning to take on the look of the root system you see in this tree.  Confused and tight.  Not being able to find the beginning from the end.  


People are going to disappoint, people are going to be human.  Errors will be made and toes will get stepped on.  It is a part of life, but here is the bottom line.  We have to grow up!  Let people be humans and allow God to give us the eyes to see the purity of heart and motive!  If conversations need to happen and the air needs to be cleared, do it!  Get it out of the way and move on with it!!  Let the healing happen as soon as possible!   Time is short and there is to much work to be done!! 

I leave you with this
 “Bitterness is like drinking poison and
 waiting for the other person to die.”  
Who does bitterness hurt in the long run??

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