I was talking to a friend the other day and we were talking about how 2017 started with a bang and seems to be ending with a boom. Some of us have dealt with health issues, some have dealt with marriage problems, some financial, some its been a bit of all of the above and then some. I think it is safe to assume that across the board it has been rough! Why!?
Well.......allow me to share my experiences with Musonda to illustrate.
A couple of weeks ago ......to top it all off ......I threw out my back.....second time this year. And it was bad. I was crying every time I stood up. This came on the heels of my daughter needing an emergency appendectomy and other personal stuff that was taking my breath away. GOD NO! Like SERIOUSLY GOD!? I can't work, I can't walk, I can't move! NO!
So, I went to visit Musonda. Musonda is a brilliant physical therapist here in Lusaka who has done wonders for friends of mine, so I decided to go check her out. I limped into her office on a Monday morning in serious pain barely able to stand up straight. Musonda MAYBE comes to my shoulder . She is a little spunky ball of energy and strength. She had me lay down on her table and she immediately pinpointed the problem. She put her finger right in the center of the pain and asked if it hurt......after I peeled myself off the ceiling and affirmed her diagnoses, she began working. AND IT FRIGGIN HURT!
She had me twisted like a pretzel, kneaded my muscles like she was preparing bread dough. I squealed and squirmed and had to force myself to not cry because I knew ultimately it was for my good. I walked out of her office feeling like crumpled grocery bag and wondering if there was any purpose to the torture.
She gave me instructions to return five more times every other day. I ended up with bruises on my back that freaked out my husband, and some days I walked out feeling worse than when I went in. Wondering what the point was I began to see parallels to what I was going through physically to what I was experiencing spiritually. Because at the same time my heart felt so dry, barren and exhausted. I was feeling stunned and unable to put up any sort of fight. Just wanting to sit back and let life roll over me. I was crying a lot and just feeling completely spent and wasted.
After the fourth visit I came home in SO MUCH pain. I felt discouraged and frustrated that it felt just as bad and when I began......THEN!!! THEN!!!!!! OH WOW....THEN!!!!!!! I called a friend who is also a physical therapist to find out what was going on and she said this.......when the effected muscles are loosened and realigned there is pain to be expected because they basically have to retrain themselves to do their jobs properly. THAT WAS WHEN IT STARTED TO SINK IN!!!!! God was dealing with the knotted up muscles of my heart that needed to be dealt with. Walls that I have put up or areas that I didn't even know existed were being pulled down and exposed and IT HURT! It was feeling worse than ever and I hated it. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!! After I got off the phone with my friend I felt the gentle tug of Jesus on my heart comforting me and assuring me that it is going to be ok! To trust him in the process and to believe that he truly and seriously does work all things out for my good and to His glory! PRAISE GOD! He has taken what I thought was hopeless pain and failure and has worked a beauty in my heart that causes me to give Him and Him alone Glory! Jesus saves! Jesus loves!! Jesus lives! HALLELUJAH! I can say that as I write this my heart feels freer than ever before. AND I am pain free in my back. HALLELUJAH
Are you tired and weary? Its ok! Go to Jesus and let Him refresh your heart! One thing I have learned from these experience is its ok that I am tired. Its ok that I need to take a step back from the front lines for a minute or two. Just be careful that when you need to rest that you do it in the presence of Jesus and allow him to fill you. Don't fill you jars with bad oil!
Are you worn out with sin? Its ok! Go to Jesus and let Him give you freedom! He came and died for your freedom! You don't have to carry the burden of sin on your back any longer! There is nothing you have done that Jesus hasn't already won the victory over!
"I Am Yours"