missionary moms and rough morning

This morning I sent my eldest born off on a camping trip for 5 days with her class.  We got into a screaming fight right before she got into the car with her dad to be whisked away into the bush....the AFRICAN BUSH for FIVE DAYS!

She wanted control over how and what to pack in her bag and I, being a mother, wanted to make sure she has enough undies and jeans.  Cut me some slack!  She was trying to pack a pair with a wet waist band and I had a panic that her entire bag was going to be wet and mildewy by the time she reached the campsite.  I AM A MOM!!!  I CAN’T HELP IT!  I just sent my baby off FOR FIVE DAYS IN THE AFRICAN BUSH!  Did I mention that she can’t take her phone so we can’t call!?

We must have looked a sight!  I was there in my pj and racoon eyes from yesterdays make up shouting ‘ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO HAVE WHAT YOU NEED’ while Amira is giving me the sideways evil eye......yeah, not my most dignified moment.  

Can I just PULEASE crawl back in bed and start all over!?  

After she left and I thought it through it hit me with force....she isn’t five!  My baby is growing!   She is no longer the round faced, apple cheeked red headed wonder....She is now grown into a tall red headed beauty with a mind of her own.  (to be honest I like it that way!  I want my girls to be strong and confident!)  All she wanted was the control over how and what to pack in her bag.  And I need to trust that she can pack her own jeans and that she knows how many pairs of underwear and socks she will need for the trip.  

But in my defense, I AM A MOM!!!!  And I always will be!!!  It is hard to let go!  Is that why God has us raise teenagers BEFORE they officially leave for their own lives?  It is a little bit of letting go every day.  

Parenting is HHHAAARRRDDDD work!  We won’t get it right all the time and that is perfectly ok!  How else are our kids going to learn that it is ok to make mistakes?  How else will our kids learn about the grace and mercy of Jesus unless they see us fall flat on our faces and show some transparency and humble honesty when we apologize?  

suffering

I have been struggling how to put my thoughts into words lately.

There is so much suffering going on around us!  I don't think that there are many of us that can say any more "THANK GOD ITS NOT ME!"  You know what I mean..you hear stories of others suffering and pain and you empathize, you pray and you have compassion, but deep down you think "God thank You for sparing me and my family!"  

I have been following the story of Brandon Hayslip and his family.  Soon, barring a miracle, Brandon will go home to be with Jesus.  His suffering will end, but his family will be left with a broken place in their hearts.  God WHY!?

My own family is dealing with the sudden diagnosis of brain cancer for my uncle, Mike Hampton.  Again, barring a miracle, he will go home to be with Jesus.

It may not be sickness, it may be financial suffering.  "God how on earth am I going to put food on the table tonight?"  or maybe it is an internal battle that no one sees but you and Jesus.  You know those battles of the mind that you can't seem to put into words, but you feel as if you are going to drown in it?  I myself was just there the other day. I sent a message to my dearest friend asking for prayer.  She knows me well and I knew I didn't have to explain myself.  (THANKS FRIEND!!!!)

The other day I got before God and poured it all out to Him.  I was honest.  I was blunt.  I was transparent.  (why not!?  He knows anyway!)

Here is the resolve that came into my heart:

Even though the world is falling apart, even though suffering is happening at break neck speeds now, even though we are not assured of our tomorrows,  there is one thing we are assured of!  One thing that we can put our hope and trust and faith in!  The word of God WILL NEVER CHANGE!!!!!  Who God is, what God is WILL NEVER CHANGE!  I can choose to believe the report of the Lord or I can believe in the despair and the hopelessness that is surrounding our world now.

Psalm 3:3-8

3 But you, Lord, are a shield around me,
    my glory, the One who lifts my head high.
4 I call out to the Lord,
    and he answers me from his holy mountain.

5 I lie down and sleep;
    I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
6 I will not fear though tens of thousands
    assail me on every side.

8 From the Lord comes deliverance.
    May your blessing be on your people.

These words gave me so much hope and comfort and I pray they do the same for you!

If you don't know Jesus...He loves you so very much!!!!  He longs to sooth you wounded and broken soul.  He longs to give you comfort!  He died on the cross and suffered for you so you can know peace.  It is a free gift!  The forgiveness of Jesus, while bought with  the price of his blood, is freely given to all who believe!  Jesus has the answers!  Jesus WILL fill the void that you are so desperate to fill!  That is a promise!  I know because he did it for me!


Ok for some reason my crazy African internet won't let me down load this video I wanted to insert, so I will give you the link.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXS-FidS0Yw

The lyrics are below and I think it sums up what I am trying to say.......

Holy, You are still holy
Even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, You are still sovereign
Even when confusion has blinded my eyes

Lord, I don't deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection
Of Your love

And so I come into Your chamber
And I dance at Your feet, Lord
You are my Saviour
And I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life
Up 'til now
It belongs to You
You are still holy

Holy, You are still holy
Even though I don't understand Your ways
Sovereign, You will be sovereign
Even when my circumstances don't change

Lord, I don't deserve your tender patience
When my unbelief has kept me from Your truth
I want my life to be a sweet devotion
To You

And so I come into Your chamber
And I dance at Your feet, Lord
You are my Saviour
And I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life
Up 'til now
It belongs to You
I belong to You

And so I come into Your chamber
And I dance at Your feet
You are my Saviour
And I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life
Up 'til now
It belongs to You
I belong to You
You are still holy
You are still sovereign
You are still holy, Lord
You are still righteous
You are all-knowing
You are still holy