Monday, October 17, 2011

worship when it makes no sense


Today I could feel the devil breathing down my neck.  I could feel the weight of everything piling up and weighing me down so hard that I thought I was going to suffocate from the pressure of it.  “JESUS I AM IN THE STORM AND I CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE!”  There was a sense that my hearts cry and my burden wasn’t getting past the ceiling, let alone making it to heaven’s ears.  And on top of it, I had to see to my children’s needs.  Not an easy thing to do when you can barely breath or put one foot in front of the other.  
Luis was experiencing the same thing and we finally shut ourselves into a room and began to cry out to Jesus.  You know those times when you get before God and have these gut wrenching, heart wrending prayers?  GOD I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU AND YOUR REPORT BUT I AM REALLY STRUGGLING!!!!  GOD I DON’T WANT TO DOUBT YOU NOW OR COMPLAIN!!!!!  GOD, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CHOICE BUT TO PUT MY EVERYTHING IN YOUR HANDS!!!  I thought of Job sitting on an ash heap with his entire life in ruins PRAISING GOD!  Would you believe the only thing that God told me was that I needed to go to the store and get the ingredients I need to make muffins?  HUH!?  
So, I did it and GUESS WHAT!?  GOD MEET ME IN THE CAR!!!!  He flooded my heart with such peace and such comfort.  It was unbelievable!  I could FEEL the war raging and FELT the victory!  The Lord simply spoke to my heart that it is all going to be ok!  No direct answers, no need to understand, just that it is all going to be ok!  That He is in control!  The lyrics to this song were playing on my Ipod and they really hit home to me....if you don’t have it DOWN LOAD IT!!!  
I Lift My Hands lyrics
Songwriters: Christopher Tomlin;Matt Maher;Louie Giglio
Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are fortress for the weak
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
Maybe God puts us in these hard valleys to test how we are going to react.  Do we shut down and pout (which is usually what I do), or do we worship the King of heaven and earth NO MATTER WHAT!?  He didn’t change our situation, BUT he flooded me and Luis with PEACE!!!  And the FAITH TO WORSHIP!!!!  Peace that is beyond any comprehension.  It makes no sense, and guess what!?  It doesn’t have to.  
Sometimes we like to talk about “going deeper in Jesus”, but maybe all that means is letting go and allowing Him to be Lord no matter what.  Maybe that means that we can have the ability to worship the one who shed his blood for our sins EVEN when things are going on that make no sense.  
CLING to Jesus!  STAY at the cross!  and DON’T LET GO!!!!  

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