muddy patches and rocky climbs

I have been pretty battle weary lately.  So tired....fighting discouragement the temptation to lay the cross down for a bit and go find a quiet job in a Target in the middle of Wisconsin or Utah.  

Come on you guys, I know I am not the only one who has ever felt like that!  Some days are harder than others and some days the road is rough.  I was driving Luis to work this morning and had to manuever my way through an extremely bad muddy patch.  Africa mud patches are unlike anything you have ever seen.  (I wish I had the camera with me at that point) As I picked my way through the thought occurred to me, “This is what my road looks like right now”.  Some days rough and muddy, making the going slow and careful.  You have to be careful about where you put your foot or you will get stuck.  Some days the road is smooth and easy, no rocks or mud or black ice in the way. 

I must be honest though, today I feel like I have misstepped and got my foot stuck in the mud, and would have loved nothing more than to sit there and let the mud harden into a brick around my ankle.  

Sunday my personal road has lead me to a steep mountain path, and it scares me.  You know the kind you see in the mountains of Nepal and Guatemala?  The kind where you have to hug the wall at points and shuffle slowly by, at points on your hands and knees?    It shook me to my core!!!  Still does, two days later, but I read this special promise this morning.  

Psalm 121

The Message (MSG)

A Pilgrim Song

121 

1-2 I look up to the mountains;
    does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
    who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

3-4 

He won’t let you stumble,
    your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel’s
    Guardian will never doze or sleep.

5-6 

God’s your Guardian,
    right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
    sheltering you from moonstroke.

7-8 

God guards you from every evil,
    he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
    he guards you now, he guards you always.

I hope this lifts your hearts as it lifted mine.  My strength to climb this particular mountain comes from God!  After all He is the same God who made heaven and earth with a few simple words!  He won’t let me stumble over the cliff and won’t sleep on the job!  He will hold the umbrella over my head when the sun gets to intense, and light my way when the path is dark.  HE IS MY GUARD!!!  Its a promise!  HALLELUJAH!!!  

images from my life

Today I went out and took photos of what I see on a daily basis here in Zambia.  This is just a small sample of the places and faces we see everyday.  ENJOY!  

He is a delivery guy for the local shops.  

I don't know if you can tell but the ladies in the back of the truck are actually sitting on overstuffed chairs they are moving.  Hey, if you gotta do it, do it comfortably!  

Anyone notice the Jesus is my Homeboy poster in the window?

These two men are drinking the locally brewed beer called Shake Shake.  It is NASTY smelling stuff, but dirt cheap. 

She is a blind woman begging in an empty field.  There are men and women like this all over the city.

He is a bag seller. I always think of flowers when I see these guys. 

I thought he had the coolest hat. 

This is a wall of Chitenge fabrics.  One piece is roughly 13 feet and costs 5 USD.  

A little girl begging in the field.  

Suddenly I felt like fasting when I walked past this stall.  

My body guards Ollie (left) and Brett (right).  Luis couldn't go with me so I asked these guys from our church to walk with me.  

Dont you think the guy in white looks like Usher?

The picture doesn't really show the gigantic size of the puddle in the back of the market.  I thought the tree in the middle was cool.

Remember the picture above with the meat?  This guy was the chef.   

There are tables of wigs and hair pieces

A delivery guy.  He wanted to make sure I got a shot of what he was delivering.

A shoe stall in the market. 

I found this boy encased in a stall of hundreds of snow white lacy curtains.  I think he has wise eyes.  

Night time feedings

Last week I led the first team from South City Church to minister to the kids on the streets.  It was such an exciting moment!  For a long time Luis and I have been praying that God will put the burden on the hearts of the people that we go to church with.  Then before we knew it there were four extra people sitting in our living room praying for God's direction and unity.   WOOOO!!!

We have felt God's leading us to a market area known as North Mead.  All of the kids seem the migrate there at night to sleep.  There are stalls and quiet places to hide away from people and the elements.  We also decided to start outreaches at night for several reasons.  One of which is the people who have homes are in them and we can see a bit more clearly who the street kids are.  The environment is a bit more controlled.  If I may be blunt for a moment.....it draws A LOT of attention when the locals see a couple of white people hanging out with street kids.  In the past one of us does crowd control and the other one talks to the kids.  The shouts of MUZUNGU!!!! (white person) and the odd marriage proposal are greatly diminished by making this logistical change.

We found THE PERFECT parking lot where we think it might be ideal for night time feedings.  It is well lit and is nice and big for our purposes.  ALSO, it is deserted at the time we wanna be out.   BONUS!

We have been simply called to reach out a hand of love to the kids.  We see what God has called us to do as step one.  They hang with us.  We target those who are serious about change and walking with God.  After a bit of time we will help them find a place to go....Teen Challenge?  Back Home?  We believe that by consistently and regularly being a part of their lives, showing them love, befriending them and hearing their hearts, God will do wonderful and miraculous things!

We are not the answer...Jesus is!!!  All we have to do is simply obey God's leading and His timing and the rest is up to him!

How can you pray for us?

1.  We NEED a ministry van.  We will be able to pull right into the parking lot.  Two people can sit in the back serving food while the rest of the team works the crowd and hangs out with the kids.

2. Pray that the team God has formed to go with us stays unified and in one mind.

3. Pray for Amira, Hannah and Brooklyn.   They are amazing kids and we are so proud of them!

4. Pray that we don't get ahead of God!!!


If you haven't checked out Luis' testimony video we did, look it up and share it!!!
https://vimeo.com/57156848

WE LOVE YOU ALL SO VERY VERY MUCH!
Myranda, Luis, Amira, Hannah, Brooklyn Rose and Darwin the Guinea Pig

If God is laying it on your heart to donate financially .... go to

 tscnyc.org / give / contribute to a missions trip / morales family zambia

Or you can mail a check or money order to 

Morales Family 

Times Square Church 

Missions department 

1657 Broadway FL 4

NYC, NY 10019

earmarked Morales family / zambia

fissures need to heal

Since we sent Joe to Teen Challenge God has put a halt to going on the streets.  We went  back to the market for a few weeks after Joe left, but sensed that God’s hand had lifted from that particular avenue.  Neither Luis or myself had any peace about going there.  Let me make it clear, WE AREN’T STOPPING OUR WORK WITH THE KIDS!!!  But God isn’t allowing progress to be made.  He simply has us in a holding pattern.  I wish I could say I have accepted it with great peace and obedience, but it has been FRUSTRATING!!!!  We have been actively looking into storefronts to rent, buses to purchase and have gone a couple of times at night to look into branching out into night time out reaches but keep coming up against a brick wall that says “Welcome to Zambia the Real Africa”.  

UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  "Ok God, I will stop and let you lead the way!! What are you trying to tell us???"

During this waiting time God has been working on Luis and I in personal areas that NEEDED to get dealt with!  Details on that for another blog.  But I will say this, I do know in my heart that is one of the reasons God has had to put the brakes on the Soweto Street Church for a bit.  We have found a freedom like we have never known before and it feels GOOD!  AMAZING!!!  Obedience is truly better than sacrifice!!!  It has taken the quietness of waiting out a mountain fog to truly hear God’s voice in this situation.  

God isn't concerned about the work we are doing.  He is concerned about our heart's condition.  If he has to pull the oars out of the water for a bit and speak to our hearts about stuff we don't wanna hear.....trust me when I tell you....It takes less energy to stop and listen than it does to keep going and try to push forward.  He will lower the oars again!  There is plenty of work to be done, but how effective can we be if there are fractures and broken pieces that need to be put back together?

Please pray for us!  Pray that we don’t get a head of God’s timing.  Pray that we stay still in his presence and listen carefully to His voice!  Pray that the provision comes at the right time!!  Workers, money for feeding, buses, all that fun stuff!  

Street children are precious in the sight of God, but so are we!  

Let me leave you with this thought...

Commit your way to the Lord! Trust in him and he will do this..He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of your cause like the noonday sun!.....(BUT)....Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:5-7a

If God is laying it on your heart to donate financially .... go to

 tscnyc.org / give / contribute to a missions trip / morales family zambia

Or you can mail a check or money order to 

Morales Family 

Times Square Church 

Missions department 

1657 Broadway FL 4

NYC, NY 10019

earmarked Morales family / zambia

Bruised souls and writers block

I have been suffering from a severe case of writers block since the beginning of November.  There has been so much that has gone on personally and ministry wise that I won't shove it all into one blog.  As I sort through my own heart and emotions about it all I will keep you in the loop, thats a promise.  

As you all have been on Joe's journey with us, you will be happy to know that he has been in a Teen Challenge since the middle of October and we just got a report yesterday that he is thriving.  He has been promoted to the next level, which brings privileges and responsibilities.  Wafuka, the director, told us that he has never had a student with so much dedication and perseverance.  He is inspiring other students to stay the course and he wants to further his education to go on in ministry.  Please pray for him!!  Pray that we have the wisdom to know how to help him when he is finished with his year.  Pray for the provision to help him.  He needs finances, a house, all that kinda good stuff.  How does God want you to help Joe?  We all are his family!!!

In all transparent honesty, I feel I must share with you that the battle to get Joe into Teen Challenge has lead me into a desert time of my own.  I don't want to give the devil more credit that necessary, but there is a tug in my heart to share with you what happened to me the day after.  It was the day the TSC missions conference started, and I was feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't able to attend. I was depressed and moody and 

needed to just get out of the house.  To make a long story short, a bus driver pulled in front of my car and he and his buddy attempted to pull me out of my car.  No other way to explain it, but it was pure naked demonic aggression.  My neighbor came at the last second and helped me.  Needless to say I was SUPER FREAKED!!  I wasn’t hurt and looking at the details of what happened...God was there!! 

My pastor’s wife talked me through my emotions about the situation and gave me to BEST advice EVER!!!  (let me just say, she knows what she is talking about!)  She said we have to make sure we are resting in the presence of God and not attempt to make sense of it all on our own. (my paraphrase) I couldn’t reason away what happened and try to understand the why and the wherefore’s of it all.  I had to simply stop, actively sit at the feet of Jesus and let him heel my bruised soul.  God gave me a picture he wanted me to paint, so for a week I stopped life, did only what was necessary....picked up kids from school and made sure they were feed and clothed, and I painted.  I put on worship music and listened to TSC sermons.  I didn’t let my mind try to work it all out.  I actively and simply sat at the feet of Jesus and let him make something beautiful out of something terrible.  It was a wonderful time!!  

I guess what I want to say is this....Don’t let what the devil has meant for your destruction define you!  Let Jesus make something beautiful in your life out of something that was meant to harm you and hold you back from all God has intended!  

When my heart is over whelmed....

Forgiveness is a complex, difficult, emotional situation to wade through....at least we make it that way.

Some days the pain, rejection and heart ache that we have experienced threatens to take our breathe away.  Is there anything more painful that to be mis represented and misunderstood by a friend?  We have all, in one way or another experienced such moment.  If you are anything like me, you are so hurt that you react with your fists up and want so badly to right the wrong that you are labeled as fanatical and a bit loony, when in your heart of hearts all you want is to be understood.  Some of us retreat into a shell of isolation and simply bury the whole thing down in a blanket of denial and get busy working in hopes that it will just all go away one day...or prayerfully the offending party with simply move.....HHAA!!!!!  Both are wrong and both are damaging. 

If it isn’t dealt with properly in the light of the word of God it WILL turn into a cancer of the soul.  For me, the pain has run so deep that it has made me distrustful, leery and a bit cynical.   Thoughts like.....“Why would I want to open my heart to you if you are just going to turn around and use it against me?”  and others have run through my head at an alarming rate.  That ain’t cool!  

For a few years I have actually done a pretty bang up job of hiding the whole thing.  But, recently God has been putting the whole issue in my face at an alarming rate.  Sermons, readings, letters, phone calls, bumping into people.....I was even told by a trusted friend, “Myranda if you don’t deal with this properly it will eat at your soul and disqualify you from hearing God’s voice.”  THEN that after noon I read “Unforgiveness if a cancer that if left untreated will be passed onto your children and the fall out for them is worse”. THEN, after Hurricane Sandy hit I listened to a Pastor Dave sermon called “Getting ready for the End of All Things” (felt the title was appropriate for the moment)....would you believe the entire sermon was dealing with unforgiveness?  He basically was saying that the time is short and we don’t have the head space to deal with bitterness and all it brings.  So just leave it with Jesus and walk away from it.  BOOM, that simple!  

God enlightened my heart and gave me the courage and the grace to let go of my pride.  So what if I am misunderstood, I don’t EVER want to NOT hear God’s voice!!!!!!  I realized that I was holding onto the pain as a security blanket and that it was defining me.  I realized with a jolt that my life was beginning to be defined by the hurt.  NOO!!!!!!  God forgive me!!!!!!!!!  I want my life to be defined by God’s presence and joy.  I want my life to be defined by Jesus!!!!!!!  

It was like OK GOD I GET THE POINT!!!!!!  Now give me the courage to deal with this properly, check my wounded pride at the door, not seek justification, but seek a pure heart and obedience to your word.  HELP!!!!! 

Here is the heart of the matter.....Yes, we are at the end of time, and Jesus has much for us to do.  Do you want your heart to be hindered from the voice of the Holy Spirit by holding onto hurt.....yes, I understand that the hurt was undeserved and that the person who offended was in the wrong.  But holding onto it doesn’t do ANY BODY ANY GOOD!  It only serves to damage you!  

Forgive and let God deal with the consequences.  His shoulders are big enough to handle it!  Forgive and let the stripes of Jesus heal your wounded soul.  

FORGIVE!!! 

Getting Ready for the End of All Things

The Lord sits enthroned!!!

I can’t sleep.....thinking so much about my family and friends who have braved Frankenstorm Sandy.  (that was my favorite term discovered while we were diligently following what was happening on our side of the pond)

Several thoughts have been swimming through my mind all day.....

“Jesus PLEASE keep my loved ones safe”

“OH FUDGE IS HOBOKEN REALLY UNDER WATER????”

“Wow, that crane is dangling over A LOT of heads right now”

Just to name a few.....

People have lost SO MUCH in the past couple of days....whole houses have been washed away, lively hoods dashed to bits.  I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around the amount of suffering that is going on right now and what life is going to look like for people a week, a month, a year from now.  

But here is the deal you guys.....the only way forward is to turn our eyes on Jesus.  We cannot rely on our efforts and our plans.  Who knows when they will be washed away.  Do we plan for the future?  Yes, as best we can, but we hold onto it with an open hand. Our times are in the hands of a merciful, just, holy, righteous God.  

If you don’t know Jesus Christ, I urge you, fall on your face before Him!  Cry out to Him!  Open your heart and your pain and your doubts to Him.  Lay it all out and see if He won’t prove Himself to you to be faithful, just and true!  He has to me....on several occasions. 

I have been angry, I have been cruel, I have doubted, I have sought vengeance, 

YET CHRIST HAS NEVER ONCE TURNED HIS BACK ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!  How can I turn mine on Him?

The LORD sits enthroned over the flood; the LORD is enthroned as King forever.